Dog Steps To Nowhere

My mom threatened and threatened and finally did it.

She bought those "as seen on TV" dog steps, complete with carpet cover.

She put them in her bedroom, next to her bed. She tried to entice me up them with treats. I don't think so. I'll do a lot of things for treats, but I won't do that.

I can jump up onto the bed by myself, thank you very much. I do not need to walk up some rickety plastic steps that say they hold 70 dog pounds, but I highly doubt it. You would doubt it too if you saw the way they sway if they aren't pushed up against the bed.

Now, Lightfoot Badger, aka Olive, flies up and down those steps like they are a natural extension of the bed. She doesn't have to be cajoled to use them, unlike me.

In my humble Beagle opinion, Mom, those steps lead to nowhere. I will not use them.

Instead, I will continue my hesitating hopping jump at the edge of your bed. Sure, it takes me several tries before I actually jump, but I can totally do it on my own.

Eventually.

Teaching An Old Dog New Tricks

I have been a proficient door scratcher for years. When I need to go out or come back in, I scratch at the door.

I taught Sarah Beagle how to do it, and she caught on quickly.

But try as I might, and as hard as my Mom has tried, Olive Badger just won't do it. She'd rather have an accident in the house then scratch at the door!

It's shameful really.

So Mom has just left the back door open all these months. Rain or shine, hot or cold, the door is open.

The cold morning a few days ago changed all that. Mom said enough is enough and closed the door. Then Dad bought a dog door and put it in.

Olive, darn her, jumped in and out of it before it was even fully installed. She loves it. That heavy plastic swinging door doesn't bother her at all.

I hate it. I still scratch a the door, but Mom won't open it. She says I've got to learn how to use the dog door.

That's not fair!

I'm an old dog, who shouldn't have to learn any new tricks. But Mom says I'm not that old and I'll be happier in the long run being able to go in and out without having to wait for someone to open the door for me.

Hmm. I remain skeptical.

Mom has sweetened the pot by giving me a treat when I use the dog door.

Mmmm. Treats.

I've never identified with Scooby until today, but I'll do anything for my own scooby snack! Even use a doggie door.

The Diggingest Dog

When I was a wee pup, my family had a giant dirt pile in the backyard. It was so awesome! I got to dig to my hearts content. So did my kids. The three of us would be out there, them with their shovels and pails, and me with my paws, digging, digging, digging.

Then the pile went away.

And there was no place to dig.

I guess the three of us had grown up a bit, because it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, to not have a dirt pile to dig in.

But now we have a pup who does not have a dirt pile and who is not doing well without one.

Olive Badger is driving Mom crazy! Usually a job reserved for Dad only, Olive has come in every morning this week with dirt up to her four armpits. Having a wash up in the sink has not deterred her at all!

Mom counted 11 holes last night!

11!

Now that is some digging.

I won't tell Mom about the hole Olive just dug this morning.

Some things are best left unsaid!

Sarah At The Table

My sister Sarah Beagle has the annoying habit of jumping up to sit on a dining room chair. One that is not too far from the table itself. She is sitting at the table really.

The annoying part is that Mom lets her.

If I tried that, I would be scolded from here to eternity!

But Sarah just sits there so pretty.

If you ask her, it has nothing to do with the table. I know, I've asked. She's not there to sniff out any crumbs. She is sitting there because it's close to the computer, and Sarah loves the computer, and loves it when our family is surfing the net.

Just this morning Mom was looking at you tube videos of Beagles and Sarah was sitting next to her, basking in Mom's laughter.

I wish that could be me.

But I wouldn't be there for the laughter. I'd be there for the crumbs.

I'd deserve the scolding I'd get.

I'll let Sarah Beagle have this one special thing. I've heard it's hard to be the middle Dog. She deserves a few crumbs thrown her way.

I'm kidding. I deserve the crumbs. Mom, don't you dare wash off the table when Sarah is sitting there! That would be intolerable!